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Straight Guy Working At A Gay Bar

Online: Yesterday

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Or maybe they do actually fall in love. Or maybe they just dance the night away to Rihanna, Britney, Mariah, and J.

Candra
Age: 29
My orientation: Gentleman
Eyes: I’ve got big gray eyes
What is my gender: Lady
I know: Spanish
Figure type: My figure features is quite athletic
What I like to drink: Stout
Smoker: Yes

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Straight women come to our bars to have a night out with their gay mates. Many are seeking a safe space to party away from the aggressive and persistent harassment of straight men.

Gay bars are reopening, but their absence may have changed lgbtq+ culture forever

Gay bars offer them a kind of sanctuary without straight men doggedly pursuing them. Advertisement We can no longer let this behaviour fly. What stops us from stepping in and saying something when we blatantly see this behaviour? We know all too well the brutal reality of straight male aggression and entitlement.

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Putting ourselves in a position where we risk becoming a direct target is, understandably, not our preferred scenario. But our immobility in these instances leaves the gate open for our complicity.

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There are actually alternative responses available to us when a direct call out or intervention is unrealistic. This puts some of the responsibility back on the venue staff who have more authority to take assertive action. Another way to respond is to tell our mates and collectively decide how we can all intervene as a group to make the situation safer.

What's with all the straight guys showing up at family bar?

Can the group use their physical presence to deter the guy? Or can we as a group actually have a word with them?

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Either way, it should be said that they are not in any way responsible for the behaviour of predatory men but we can work together with safety in mind. None of these suggestions are prescriptive in any sense. Every situation requires us to make a judgement of how to, or not to, respond.

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Doing nothing as a bystander though, greenlights these dangerous behaviours to continue without ability. They need to be implemented, followed and reviewed as a proactive measure in preventing sexual assault and harassment.

Gay bars are reopening, but their absence may have changed lgbtq+ culture forever

Venues can send a clear message to patrons by publicly asserting and displaying their safety policy throughout their venue and on social media. Specialised sexual assault bystander training for bouncers and bar staff ensures they are skilled up to have firm conversations with patrons around expectations of behaviour and conduct, especially with straight men entering a gay venue.

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Importantly, having trained staff also increases the likelihood of a venue providing appropriate and supportive responses to victim-survivors. The infrastructure of a venue can also support safety for patrons.

We need to talk about predatory straight male behaviour at gay bars

Bathrooms with emergency buttons can alert staff of a patron who needs assistance. Security and staff visibly and proactively moving around the perimeter of all the spaces of a venue instead of standing at one location the whole night watching out for unwanted behaviour also contributes to a safe party environment. The predatory behaviour of straight men at gay bars are deliberate and calculated. Taking a more intentionally active stance against predatory straight male behaviour in our spaces is uncomfortable and at times risky work.

We need to talk about predatory straight male behaviour at gay bars

But now more than ever, when women are publicly telling us about their experiences of male violence, we need to be showing our solidarity. We can do this through our actions. We can do this in the party spaces we have created for our own safety by extending this right to unequivocal safety to the women who come to these spaces too. And we can also use this as an opportunity to take pause and reflect on our own relationship with consent and sexual aggressiveness when we party as gay men.

What straight people need to know about going to gay bars

We can open up a dialogue with our mates, lovers and partners about unsafe behaviours as well as behaviours that support us all to feel safe and respected as we flirt, dance and party through the night. You can also read our latest magazines or us on our Facebook and Twitter feed. What a Wank! News Opinion. Kristian Reyes — June 28, Tags: gay Australia Gay Bar gay news party safe space safety straight men women.

About the Author Kristian Reyes.