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The sexy teen girl flashes him her boobies and he grabs his drill, drilling a custom made glory hole through his door so he can pass his dick through it. She gets on her knees and sucks the big juicy glory hole dick, this Halloween is already turning out so much better than she anticipated.

Naked Trick Or Treating

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Here were my instructions: I was to write a column on nudity, Halloween, or better yet, a combination of both.

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Simple enough. Same for every major religious and federal holiday that I can think of.

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And that includes bank holidays. And Boxing Day, which I recently saw on a day planner, and I assume is still a holiday. Pretty much any day off is a day on — for nudity! But I digress. In how many ways can they be combined?

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Nude Halloween. Easy enough. Trick-or-treating, naked. The child with the nicest body gets the most candy.

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Halloween, Nude. The exact opposite of Nude Halloween.

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Children are strictly forbidden by law to leave the house nude. They must dress in elaborate, uncomfortable, perhaps painful costumes, and go trick-or-treating, knocking on the doors of their neighbors, who are nude. Naked Halloween. Kids in costumes, adults in regular old adult clothing.

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Like ties and stuff. But instead of candy, the adults hand out naked people.

Halloween trick or treat nude

Children hand out candy to naked trick-or-treating adult neighbors. Costumes for children are optional, but recommended. Nude Halloween Naked. Parents in bed, in costume.

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Children naked, not in bed. Cavorting optional for both.

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Naked Halloween Naked. In fact, everyone children, adults, pets is heavily clothed, by law.

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And asleep. The presumption here is that everyone gets into a time machine of some sort and travels back to Olden Time England of Old — naked, but of course! Halloween, but Naked.

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Naked children go trick-or-treating, and instead of candy are given the ability to grasp the concept of shame for their naked bodies. A lot like Adam and Eve. My instructions were to write this column in words.

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This column on nudity and Halloween. My father told me this story when I was a boy, and his father told him — uh — when he was a boy. So close! Greg Yolen is a sophomore in Pierson College.

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Matt, that is. Greg totally rocks out. Halloween, Naked. Tweets by yaledailynews.