Jeff the killer sucks, Jeff the killer sucks woman found male to flirts
Okay, before all you Jeff fans throw me to the wolves, hear me out.
Be warned, this post contains a few scary pictures from shock sites, so if you are sensitive to that kind of thing, please proceed with caution. If you missed part one, here's the basic rundown: Creepy Pasta are those scary short stories that hobby writers like to post online to scare their internet friends.
They are usually presented as firsthand s, often urban legend type deals, and usually have freaky twist endings. Personally, I love this stuff. But there is one very famous Creepy Pasta that has Jeff the killer sucks floating around for a while. It has a huge fan following and is considered to be one of the classics.
That Pasta is Jeff the Killerand despite its fame, it's actually pretty terrible. So to celebrate the Halloween season yeah, yeah, I'm two weeks late, but it's never too late for horror! I'm doing a full commentary. For more information on this pasta and to see the first half of the commentary, move your mouse over these words and push the button on it. Now, when we last left our heroes, Jeff's brother Liu had just been arrested after taking the blame when Jeff beat up some local bullies.
After several days of sulking, Jeff has just been awoken one bright morning by his mother. Yes, it's the day. Before it was the night, but now it is the morning. Would you like to come to the downstairs and eat the breakfast before the noon? I think this party could be the thing that brightens up the past days. Now, get dressed.
He fought himself to get up. He picked out a random shirt and pair of jeans and walked down stairs. He saw his mother and father all dressed up; his mother in a dress and his father in a suit. How do you "pick out" a random shirt? To pick something out means it is deliberately selected, which is the exact opposite of random. I assume this means he just grabbed a shirt out of his closet without paying attention, but if that's the case, he didn't pick it out. Alternatively, maybe the "random" aspect is a quality of the shirt rather than his actions.
Maybe the shirt magically changes color and pattern of its own accord with no rhyme or reason, making it a random shirt. Yeah, I like that explanation.
Creepypasta critique: jeff the killer sucks
For the rest of this scene, I'm just going to picture Jeff wearing a shirt that is perpetually transforming. His mother pushed down the feeling to yell at him and hid it with a smile.
Jeff grunted and went back up to his room. He looked around in his closet for what he would call fancy. He found a pair of black dress pants he had for special occasions and an undershirt. He looked around, and found only striped and patterned shirts. None of which go with dress pants. Finally he found a white hoodie and put it on. Never mind about the shirt then, I guess. What was the point of that?
Seriously, what does this whole wardrobe fiasco add to the story? This is one of the longest scenes in the story, and it's about Jeff putting on a sweatshirt. My guess is the intended purpose here is to paint Jeff as being awkward, that he doesn't quite fit in with his parents. The problem is that this is one of the most asinine possible ways to show it. Furthermore, it makes the parents out to be complete buffoons while showing Jeff to be an entitled little brat. Which is exactly what they are, except it's not done in a good way. The reason these characters come off like that is not because they are intentionally being developed as such but because the story is doing a piss poor job at actually building three dimensional personalities.
His mother looked at her watch. Jeff the killer sucks knocked on the door and at it appeared that Barbara, just like his parents, way over-dressed. As they walked inside all Jeff could see were adults, no. Of course they are all over dressed, because that's how grown-ups act in real life, right? Jeff, how about you go and meet some of them? Jeff walked outside to a yard full of. They were running around in weird cowboy costumes and shooting each other with plastic guns. He might as well be standing in a Toys R Us. Suddenly a kid came up to him and handed him a toy gun and hat.
Aren't I so cool? I don't have time for stupid baby things like Toys 'R Us. That crap is for babies, and I'm almost thirteen! Also, there's another human being suddenly appearing. The kid was playing on the other side of the yard and BAMF! Wanna pway? He put on the hat and started to pretend shoot at the. At first he thought it was totally ridiculous, but then he started to actually have fun. It might not have been super cool, but it was the first time he had done something that took his mind off of Liu. So he played with the kids for a while, until he heard a noise.
A weird rolling noise. Then it hit him. Randy, Troy, and Keith all jumped over the fence on their skateboards.
Jeff dropped the fake gun and ripped off the hat. Randy looked at Jeff with a burning hatred. This writer has no idea how paragraphs work. That is actually making it hard to comment on individual issues because I don't want to break up a paragraph but each one has about eight million different things wrong with it. I want to rant about it, but just isn't worth it. Actually, every other sentence should be a new paragraph, but this is the most obvious.
Were there not plenty of noises while playing?
Is this actually some kind of mime party, everything was completely silent until there came one noise? Did Jeff just stop dead the instant he heard it? Obviously Jeff just heard something odd that diverted his attention, but this sentence makes it sound as though he just froze at some random noise.
I'm picturing Jeff as some small animal - a chipmunk, maybe - going stealthily about it's business, hearing a rustling in the bushes, then snapping to attention. I've heard thunder described as "rolling," but "rolling" itself is not a noise.
The reason it was a rolling sound is because that's exactly what it was. No, you can't do that. That is cheating. If you are going to be vague and build suspense about the noise, you can't describe it by saying exactly what it is. That's like saying:. I looked out my window and saw an odd shadow. I couldn't tell what it was, but it was shaped kind of like a masked serial killer holding a machete.