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Vocalize the fact that you do want to work on yourself so that you can be happy together again. Expressing humility will give you power to change for the better and will show him that he has reason to be hopeful. Instead of just saying I love you, tell him why you love him.
How to forgive your husband when it’s hard
Alan admitted to his wife he was wrong. He took steps to make it right as much as was possible. He sincerely asked for her forgiveness.
He even gave her a pass to be angry and withdrawn for a considerable period of time, figuring that he deserved it. But when four months turned into six, and then nine…it became clear that forgiveness and restoration were no closer at hand than they had been on day one.
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Alan was emotionally exhausted, and his remorse was giving way to frustration. Even when the mistakes our spouses make are ificant, forgiveness is essential if our marriages are to survive.
None of us is perfect, and you have no idea what challenges and temptations await you in the future. One day the tables may be turned, and it could be you who needs understanding and restoration.
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You can forgive your spouse while your heart and mind are still sorting out what to do with the anger and resentment that may be lingering. Often making the decision to forgive is the very thing needed to spur you on toward letting go of the negative feelings. It may seem unfair that you, the one who has been wronged, should have to do anything to repair the relationship.
But only you can unpack and discard the feelings and emotional garbage that the incident brought into your life. And only you can make it.
1. can you help me understand?
Nothing happens in a vacuum. In other words, everything has some contributing factors or circumstances that started the dominos tumbling. Sometimes in doing this, we learn that we, too, played a part in the poor choices of those we love. Because your unforgiving spirit may turn out to be the thing that sinks the ship of your marriage.
We understand that forgiveness is a process, and healing from major hurts does take time and work on both parts. But at some point, the game changes. Your spouse is no longer the one in the wrong for what he did; you are in the wrong for your refusal to forgive.
It's the little things that matter.
How did you get past it? Dana Hall McCain writes about marriage, parenting, faith and wellness. She is a mom of two, and has been married to a wonderful guy for over 18 years. Share what kind of mom you are!
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2. you are worth it.
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