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From perennially perky breasts to smooth, hairless legs, womanhood has been constantly sexualized and subjected to unrealistic standards. However, none have been as harmful, or as unexplored, as the expectation of having a tight vagina. Tight vaginas are prized in almost every society and culture that has roots in patriarchy.

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When your vagina feels very tight, as though nothing could go inside, you may have a condition called vaginismus. Vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of the vaginal muscles caused by a deep emotional inability to relax these muscles in order to allow penetration.

In almost all cases, the vulva and vagina are completely healthy. Primary vaginismus, where nothing has ever entered the vagina, not even a tampon, is common among girls who have had a very loving, but sometimes over-protective background.

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They may have grown up with well-meaning but powerful taboos around sex and find it hard to move past that. Some women who experience vaginismus just hold a belief that sex is painful, or that they aren't able have sex.

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A history of sexual assault, abuse or family violence may also be associated with this condition. You can get help if you have vaginismus.

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Specialist sexual counselling is very helpful and is often combined with help from a physiotherapist to use a vaginal dilator or 'trainer'. Trainers are plastic tubes that allow women to learn to insert something into their vagina. They should only be used under professional guidance.

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Treated appropriately, over 80 per cent of women will overcome this distressing condition. Women are encouraged to discuss their health needs with a health practitioner. If you have concerns about your health, you should seek advice from your health care provider or if you require urgent care you should go to the nearest Emergency Dept.


Tight and painful vagina Painful sex Loss of interest in sex Inability to orgasm. Vaginismus can make efforts to have penetrative sex very painful.

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